There are only 3 days left of this year. 3 more days to say "Jacob leaves next year". In 3 short days, it will be "Jacob leaves in a few months". Isn't it just crappy how when you don't want something to come, time goes by so quickly, but when you are waiting for something, time goes by so slow? I hate that.
I have been thinking about the end of the year a lot the past couple of days. More than I'm sure many people do LOL. And of course unlike everyone else, I'm dreading it. Can we just stop time for a while? Can we just stay in 2012? Or just skip 2013? I'm ready for 2014 to come. Yeah, let's skip 2013. That sounds good.
*Sigh*.. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way. I know everyone says just keep busy and it will fly by, but you know what? Screw that! I am having major doubts of the year just "flying by" by keeping busy. It doesn't matter how busy you are, your brain is still constantly going, no matter how many times someone says you will be too busy to think. But for the sake of my sanity, I hope every one of you are correct. :)
And how can time fly by so quickly when you know you will be constantly hearing your toddler screaming for his "Dada" and missing him? And knowing you will have to repeatedly try your best to explain to him in a way he understands that daddy is away for a while but will be back soon enough? Seriously people, Luke is ATTACHED to his daddy. He screams and cries when he walks out the door for any reason, and he says "dada" constantly while he is gone and points at the front door. Heck, this kid wakes up in the morning and asks for his daddy while pointing to our bedroom door. So how will a whole year fly by so quickly when you are constantly reminded all day every day that he is gone?
I'm not as worried for Logan on that aspect. He adores his daddy too, but he doesn't understand yet and he still won't understand by the time he leaves. Which brings another thought.. Constantly keeping Logan reminded on who his daddy is, what he looks like, and the sound of his voice. Which will then turn into Luke asking for him all over again...
But at least my kids have a father they love and look up to. I'm not complaining about having to deal with the kids and their anxiety while he is gone. They are the blessing that will help me through it all. :)
My patience and faith have been tested a lot these past few days because of some personal issues, but everything always seems to be okay. So even though I'm dreading 2013 and being pretty pessimistic about it, I know it will be okay and 2014 will get here soon enough. Until then, I guess I'll just "keep busy".